My name is Spencer. My little sister Jane and I have been best friends since I can remember. Even when she was born I remember watching my mom pacing the halls of the house trying to keep her from crying, and then she'd start to smile, I loved it. Ever since I was old enough to hold her, I'd pace the halls untill the edges of her lips would turn up into a little grin. Seventeen years later, I was in my senior year and she was a sophmore. My year was busy, I was involved in student council, football, and studying. Sometimes I'd notice when Jane was having a hard day, first I'd ask her what was up. She would always say nothing, and that she was tired. After that I'd take her for a ride and we'd get ice cream and talk, to get her mind off things. When she forgot about her stresses, the edges of her lips would start to turn up into her little grin.
Now we're both older, we have families. Jane came over the other day, she said, "Spence, remember when you used to take me to get ice cream?" I answered, "Yes." She responded, "I never said thank you for that. So, Thanks." And then she smiled at me. I looked at her, smiled, and said, "Yes you did, each and every time you smiled."
I really enjoyed your take on the story this song tells, it was very creative. I really liked the way it showed how deep their relationship is still
ReplyDeleteI liked the story alot, it shows the importance of family. but i would like to read more about stuff they did
ReplyDeleteI really liked this. It's so different from the way I first interpreted the song, but I like it. You did very well in portraying their relationship and Spencer's motives. I especially liked the last line, about hte smile. I feel like you could go deeper with this story; it really has potential to be an amazing story. The word limit kind of restricts it. Just a word of advice, paragraphs should change with the speaker. It would add to the clarity of your story if the last paragraph was broken into paragraphs according to the speaker. I really do like this adaption, it is very well written.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a cute story. Having a younger brother, I know how it feels to see them smile. And how you don't want to see them sad.
ReplyDeleteI love the ending. Seriously. It shows that he was a great older brother and how he effected her life. It just felt like a warm ending to a cute story. Like a chocolate chip cookie. Yum.
Though the story was super cute, it felt rushed. I wish you had gone into much more detail, because there is much you could explore.
I like this story a whole lot. It lights up my world to see my siblings smile. My favorite part was at the end when they were all grown up and they say..I never said thank you for that. So, Thanks." And then she smiled at me. I looked at her, smiled, and said, "Yes you did, each and every time you smiled."
ReplyDeleteThat last bit made me smile.
i liked how you changed the story a little bit from the song. I think you did a great job and i really liked how you ended it with "yes you did, each and every time you smiled."
ReplyDeleteYou did really good on this. It was clear and easy to follow, and had a good story. I thought you did a really great job ending it. It was really cute!
ReplyDelete