Thursday, February 25, 2010

Second Draft. (very bad poetry)

Happiness is a choice,
You don't have to have it, but it is an option.
Most people like to be happy,
I don't know why.

Is it because of the way it looks?
It looks appealing to the eye.
A smile is a warm thing,
Brings tender feelings into the soul.

Is it because of the way it feels?
I've felt it before,
It's addicting.
But sometimes, too much. 

Which is it?
The outward appearance,
Or the way it feels inside?
Someday I'll know. 



2 comments:

  1. I like this poem, its well written. I like how you say Happiness is a choice because that is such a true statement. I also like how you say someday I'll know, again good job

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  2. Dear Ms. Granger,
    Cute and concise, a polished and enjoyable second to your bad first. A suggestion I have is to change ambiguous words such as "thing," "have to have," and "it" to clearer synonyms. For instance, you say "Happiness" only once and afterward refer only as "it." These little changes will polish your draft further. Just a thought. =)
    Sincerely,
    Genevive Loiuse Noette

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